This testimony reminds me so much of the undeceiving period I went through. I did not want to give up the special revelations that I thought were from God. Years back I began to receive dreams and open visions. I did not know at the time that the anti-depressant the doctor gave me for menopause was the culprit. Then I started receiving “words” because I asked for them. When you open yourself up by any method a lying spirit will gladly accommodate you. Believe me…it created much joy at first and I often wept with happiness. I was soooo spiritually elite. The oppression came later. Had to give it ALL up to be free. It comes at a price. Read Acts 18-19. The people gathered and burned their magic books. I burned all my notes and revelations that I had channeled. There was nothing magic by the action itself of burning these papers, it was the repentance in my mind and life and turning totally away from the seduction.
I’ve seen this gold dust. It always happened during “praise and worship.” I remember the first time I was being encouraged to pray for it. I was told to pray for it and receive it, and I opened my eyes to see my hands sparkling as if gold glitter was on them. There was no one walking around sprinkling this stuff on people. It was real! That is why so many are attributing it to God just because it really does happen. The problem is that it is 100% a sign and wonder, but it is not one of God. I experienced this in my quiet time at home, and anywhere I prayed. In fact, I first witnessed this when a girl at my school invited me to youth group. She was holding out her hand, and you could see it just shimmering. I asked her what it was and she said, “You get this when you have Jesus.” Mind you, I was not saved at the time, but the Lord was already drawing me, and apparently Satan was hot on my heels, too.
I can remember seeing an aurora all around me everything time it happened to me. It almost always followed praying a mantra type of prayer. I’ve never seen the kind of gold that you can cash in, but I did experience seeing big chunks of it on my hand. Everyone would walk around in the congregation showing everyone their hands. Everyone had it! It wasn’t until God showed me the truth behind this phenomenon that I began to realize that I was actually in a trance, hence the aurora.
I first witnessed the falsehood of this “sign and wonder” at a youth meeting one night back in 2006/2007. I was not a youth at this time, but was encouraged to come sit in with the youth to discuss topics that were going to be covered. Anyway, so we were on the topic of gold dust. My husband’s curiosity on the subject had peaked and I began to share some of my experiences (which are many), and so the youth pastor’s wife shared hers. Interestingly enough, she held out her hand and told him to look at all the gold dust that covered it. To my surprise, I saw nothing! I told her this, and she insisted that it was there all over. (Now, I know she would not lie about this as I witnessed it being on her hand in the past.) This baffled me for months as to why I could not see it! In fact, I never saw it again. What I didn’t realize is that God was already leading me away from it as I began doubting so many of my experiences and began questioning the sources. I was no longer practicing contemplative type of prayer nor was entering into a presence. Notice that I said presence, not HIS presence. Gold dust is of the devil.
I used to follow the likes of Todd Bentley, Benny Hinn, Joyce Meyer, Joel Osteen, Paul and Jan Crouch, Kenneth Copeland, Creflo Dollar, Marlyn Hickey, Jesse Duplantis, TD Jakes, Crystal Cathedral, Paula White, and so on. How did God get me to see the cold-hard truth? First, He showed me that Joel Osteen was twisting Scripture. That was a hard pill to swallow, but even though, it was bitter tasting in my mouth, I digested it with humility. I then began to question teachers for the first time in all the years that I was saved. Pride was being chiseled away and I was actually becoming teachable!
I found a Christian forum, which God used to show me the truth about the signs and wonders movement also known as the hyper-charismatic movement. I fought it tooth and nail; debated with the Moderators of the forum and was really defensive in the apostasy sub-forum. During this time, my church was holding services which were being influenced by Todd Bentley’s Lakeland Revival. I knew something wasn’t right, but couldn’t put my finger on it. I believe the forum debates had planted seeds in my stubborn heart and I was finally given just enough discernment to detect something very off.
I remember one day, my husband was watching GodTV and Todd Bentley was running his marathon. If I remember correctly, that was all that was on for 24 hours a day. I may be wrong. Anyway, I felt a really familiar and unsettling presence filling the room. I immediately went to the computer room. What was that, and why did I feel the need to leave the room in a hurry? If it was of God, then the presence would not have been so oppressive.
I decided that I would actually research about Todd Bentley. I went back to the Christian forum and dug up the thread where they were discussing the revival. I watched the videos exposing the movement and became convinced that this man was either a con-artist, or he was an escapee from the mental institution. I mean, his idea of healing was to punch, kick and body slam the people he laid hands on. On top of that, he liked to say the word “Bam!” when laying his hands on people as if he had some type of anointing from a fight-happy spirit. Crazy!
One video led to another, and finally, a video exposing the Kundalini practice in Todd Bentley’s “revival.” It was at least 7 to 12 videos long. I sat there for hours with my mouth gaping, wondering what to make of it because the very things that were being exposed were, coincidentally, were what I experienced, accepted, and participated in.
I’ll admit, I didn’t want to believe it at first. I prayed to God. I kicked and screamed and cried, “do I have to give up my precious experiences?” I pleaded with God. I didn’t want to let go, but the truth was cracking the foundation upon which this lie stood on. It took weeks for this all to sink in. I read the Bible more, I sought out teachings, and inside felt like a part of me was dying with each blow of truth. It was like someone picked up a rock and threw it at the mirror which shattered the reflection that I had been staring at. It was all just an illusion.
I was not highly favored, as I had been told. I did not have supernatural abilities. My dreams, as spiritual as they were, are subjective. I was spiritually stunted. I was an idolater who got wooed away from the truth through the lips of those who profess to preach “new revelations.” I got saved in a church built on lies and I was spiritually starved. I had to go back to the milk of the Word. God used this time of despair to show me the truth. I was ripe to receive it and was ready to surrender my experiences for the truth. God opened door after door once I gave up those experiences. They were like carved images that I worshiped. They were my chronicles of truth built on sand!